take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
No matter how drunk I am, I will take the time to wipe a pube off the toilet seat.
I wish i had a shirt that said, "I know what you're thinking and it's not herpes on my face"
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
Randomize