i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
I mean I made my therapist laugh so hard she cried....so yes, my life is literally a joke to everyone
I am listening to Jack Johnson and wearing the sweater your Mother made me fuck mother nature I am in my happy place right now
Randomize
