There was jim beam in your oven. I just preheated it.
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
I left my ice cream out over night, it's melted, fuck this, I just poured Bailey's in it. Problems solved.
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
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