Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
they're like a gay fantastic four
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge🤔
ETA 20 minutes and if you greet me at the door with a gin & tonic I’ll give you head.
Randomize
