Your face is a jimmy john
"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
Last year I got a dildo in the mail on my birthday. Today it was just a credit card bill. Sadface.
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
MY GOD DAMN TV STOPS WORKING EVERY TIME I AM THIS FUCKING HIGH. WHY MUST IT TORMENT ME?!
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
Randomize
