No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
Randomize
