even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
new rule: cockblock me if I have had over a fifth of jack. no matter what.
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
Dude, you left ME alone in your house. With your fully-stocked wine cellar. Why would you do that to yourself?
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
Hungover in church. I can feel stained glass Jesus judging me.
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
Randomize
