a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
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this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
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He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
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