I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
He hasn't left the hospital without a nurse's number all year. My nurses are always ugly or men. Wtf bro
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
Randomize