we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
I should be sponsored by Trojan
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
hey..i found a takeout box with a half-eaten hamburger in it, the box said to text this number if found...
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
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