so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
I stole a fireplace last night.
As I type I'm climbing my cousins swingset so I can take a nap inside the slide. Fuck this hangover. I always win.
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
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