Passed out on a playground for a while before trying to break into the elementary school. Erica thought her captain tasted like cat food, so she poured her bottle into her cat's dish and proceeded to eat it like cereal.
You win. Erica always eats cat food.
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
It was awesome explaining why I had a tiger with boxers in my bed, a little bit drunk, to a girl in a pre-sex moment
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
Randomize
