I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
Randomize
