Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
i was hoping the water fountain would somehow shoot out vodka this morning
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
Randomize
