i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
Whenever someone tells me they've never met a bisexual, I feel like a majestic fucking unicorn.
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
You started singing Baby Shark, screamed you have no idea how it goes, then somehow turned the beat into Bohemian Rhapsody
Randomize
