I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
I just got high and swiffered the bathroom floor....2 for 2 on brilliant life ideas
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
Randomize
