grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
Miracle whip is the devil's jizz.
Talking her gay man friend into dancing with me officially makes me the world's best wingman. ever.
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
I licked your asshole in confidence.
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
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