Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
For some reason 'start yourself on fire drunk' isn't nearly as funny after last 4th of july..
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
The amount of alcohol I'm going to consume on my birthday is directly proportional to the amount of shit I've had to put up with this past year. Which is a lot.
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
Randomize
