Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
Just opened up the freezer to find chocolate penis popsicles. Too hungover for this shit
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
It's 5am and I come home to you naked on the kitchen table and 3 people I never saw before fucking on the back porch ... and my weed gummy worms are gone. fuck you I'm taking your mom's offer
the wedding party just walked in to the song eye of the tiger. i'm getting drunk.
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
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