Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
Priorities: waking up on your doorstep desperately clutching half a meatball marinara but with no sign of your keys, purse or housemate. Where are you?!
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
He asked me if my princess crown was real and before I could say yes, he was already reaching to put it on. I'm pretending I'm asleep if he tries to have sex.
Drunkenly tried to auction off Merik's pancakes at Ihop. Apparently I make a great auctioneer. Also, no one wants 30 cent pancakes.
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
Randomize
