Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
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She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
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He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
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