You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
Just found my car keys in your throw-up.
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
We don't watch enough power rangers
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
ugh I gave him morning sex and he doesn't even text me back for my bagel order
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
“On a break” is implied when it’s a Russian chick dressed as Black Widow wearing Minnie Mouse ears
Randomize