ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
Randomize
