He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
You showed up at my apartment after 3 am wasted with a plate of cookies and tried to hook up.
Sorry about that. Except for the cookies.
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
the most terrified I've ever been was seeing Danny Devito squirming on the ground in this underwear, covered in hand sanitizer, completely hairless
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
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