Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
Woke up in 100% not my clothes this morning. Third time this month. Fuck. Tequila.
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
Sign #1 that I'm not ready to be a mother: I'm shopping for "maternity fishnets".
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
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