so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
He woke me up by trying to shove oreos in my mouth. im ready to go home now
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
I have a surprise for you guys
What is it?
A MOTHER FUCKING SURPRISE DON'T ASK QUESTIONS
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
Randomize
