I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
I drunken agreed to go wedding dress shopping with a stranger at the bar yesterday. She sent me an email asking what days I am free.
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
I'm in that weird half-dead, half fucked-simultaneously-in-every-orifice-by-a-bus-and-it-wasn't-a-good-time state.
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
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