I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit.
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
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