I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
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