Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
So, I woke up to an empty bottle of scotch and a dead car. The last thing I remember are the strippers being mad at me. Awesome night.
Feels good to be wearing underwear again though...
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
Randomize