I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
Did you really just text me at 6:35 in the morning asking where the condoms were? I moved out a year ago.
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
Randomize
