Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
He went all Bachlorette on me.. "I just want to guard and protect your heart" bullshit
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
Randomize
