There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
Just woke to a Christmas wrapped pack of hotdogs in my bathtub. How high did we get?
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
You know you're baked when you feel your throat closing up from an allergic reaction to the pecans in the cookie you're eating but you keep eating the damn cookie.
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
Randomize
