So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
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