i just had sex bonerless
the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
He sent me a 2am email the just said "Ping". Nerdiest booty call ever.
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
Randomize
