Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
Where'd you go last night?
Don't EVER let me photobomb a group of lesbians again. They made me their "straight mascot" and I ended up singing Donna summer tunes for beers at their apartment complex.
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
Rolled over in bed this morning and found Nutella and wet naps. Why can't it ever be a fire fighter, or Jude Law.
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
Randomize
