the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
Heyyyy darlin are you busy?
Why hello drunk Jake. It's sober Sarah, I'll tell drunk Sarah you booty called. She'll probably be around tomorrow night.
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
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