I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
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