Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
Randomize
