May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
You need to go! It’s a midwestern wedding - the single girls out there think life ends at 25 if they don’t have a picket fence and family. That’s when your penis introduces himself
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