Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
I was so proud to be driving sober that I wanted to get pulled over so I could tell the officer I hadn't been drinking.
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
He brought a TOOTHBRUSH and TOOTHPASTE with us on our date..... I want to go home and forget I ever decided to be nice and go on this date in the first place...... A TOOTHBRUSH!?!?!
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
there's nothing weirder than waking up to your mom eating breakfast on the couch that you fucked her coworker on last night.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
Randomize
