We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
Yeah when we were together he never sent me dick pics like a normal boyfriend. It was always pizzas. That should've been my sign.
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
Randomize
