also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
i told her that she could bring as many friends as she wanted and then she asked how many people i could fit in my bed...BEST. DAY. EVERRRR.
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
My mom said she saw you at the bar last night and asked how you were. She said, you replied with, "Oh you know, just knocked up."
Figured I'd get right to the point
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
Randomize
