I'm texring you during a blow job. She thinks I'm looking shit up. Fml. Ftw.
quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
dude, it should not be this hard to find a bottomless mimosa on a friday morning
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
in my drunkeness I still was able to plan for the morning. I duck taped my keys, a water bottle full of mimosa and my cell phone to the front door.
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
Randomize
