Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
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