If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
my tampon string is in my asshole... do you think i can get it out without anyone noticing?
i'd get off the bar first.
I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
Randomize
