Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
Randomize
