Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you're receiving this text it's probably because I drunkenly flashed you on Saturday. Sorry for forcing you to look at my tits. That was uncalled for.
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
There is not greater feeling than lying to your boss and leaving work to shit in the comfort of your own home
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
Randomize