she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
That was an excessively violent trivia night
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
So then we ended up at a bar full of navy SEALs and I got one of them to take his shirt off, then I felt him up
I feel like 31-year old me is 21-year old me's hero
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
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