Sometimes I get depressed that my son is too young to understand how hot his babysitter is.
as evidence of my kitchen this morning my night involved alot of mustard and condoms
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
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