Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
Let's paint friendship bongs
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
She couldn't find her toothbrush so I had to wait while she sucked on the 12 peppermints she found under the couch. Pretty resourceful for her level of intoxication.
Randomize
