so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
I wish there was a non-hangover washing machine that I could stick myself in right now
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
If I die tonight, I want you to have the rest of my nachos. And my porn collection.
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
Randomize
