I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
He unbuckled his belt, tipped his hat at me, then told me to "saddle up"
this is like your 5th cowboy right? where do you keep finding these guys?!!
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
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