Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
two more shots til everyone in this club gets to see my cesarean scars.
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
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