I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
Girl last night got so wet when I was going on down her it flooded up my nose. I nearly drown
I'm at my inlaws playing Scrabble. Go Fuck Yourself.
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
Woke up this morning on my doorstep in a basket with a branch, a lipstick lightning bolt on my head and a sign that said "the boy who lived." i love you guys.
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
Randomize