Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
This smoking ban is really fucking with my ability to fart in public
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
Saw two pregnant women at court today and I SWEAR one of them said "we had a threesome with this random guy and he got both of us pregnant."
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
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