try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
How I know that I'm single: when I get a save the date for a wedding & I read "& guest" my first thought was does my bottle of Jack Daniels count.
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
The seven of us sank the first paddle boat, but the second one was much nicer and we stayed afloat. Best night in a while, but we had to walk of shame for a mile.
Why are you rhyming?
Too stoned. That is how my thoughts are collecting.
Randomize
