nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
Guess what happened to me today at work?
I have chlamydia. What happened.
Oh lets talk about your news first. Mine is happy so it should go second.
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
If someone made a breakfast cereal that was a cross between lucky charms and fruity pebbles and called it unicorn power with a huge fucking rainbow and a unicorn standing in a pot of gold on the box, they would be rich. Not only monetarily but spiritually as well...
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
Randomize
