yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
The gym has a pool
my gym membership just went from "way to get in shape" to "place to go swim when I'm high"
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
My chiropractor just high fived me for getting drunk enough to throw my back out this weekend.. Life. Complete.
I'm so hungover that I just wrote up my will because I'm afraid I'm gonna die. I'm leaving you my bong.
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
Randomize
