jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
Dude, if that was the MLB player I think it was leaving your bedroom this morning please tell me you got his autograph. It could pay the rent for like six months.
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
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