two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
The only thing the cop asked me is..... "how are you still alive"?
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
Randomize
