4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
only if we run a train.
done.
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
should my penis look like a turkey
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
accidentally stumbled into a construction site at 3am on the way home. The bulldozer was locked so we had to settle for rerouting traffic with all the orange cones...
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
Why can't people give useful wedding gifts...like sex swings or Nutella?
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
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