I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
I wish i had a shirt that said, "I know what you're thinking and it's not herpes on my face"
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At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
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Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
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