i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing
seis de mayo is my least favoite holiday because i usually spend it in bed sobbing over my poor life decisions from the night before.
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
So what's it like to be pregnant?
It feels like I'm hungover and when I was drunk I was kicked off a mechanical bull and then trampled.
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
Randomize
