the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
I am the kind of drunk to where i can still drive a golf cart
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
You punched me in the face while blackout. 20 min later I told you I'd been punched in the face and you yelled 'by who, imma go kill 'em!'
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
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