Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
I would like to remind you that Mike's hard lemonade only goes good with an extra light cigarette and seminal fluid.
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
Will you please bring your dog over today? Apparently I was drunkenly cooking last night. There's food everywhere. I'm too hungover to clean.
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize
