How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
Dude, I woke up in the middle of the night and your room mate was just standing there at the foot of the bed, watching us sleep.. you don't remember me shaking the shit out of you to tell you this?!
This could explain the reason why I've been finding his clothing and keys scattered in random parts of my room..
AND THIS DOESN'T WORRY YOU?!
She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
Just saw our highschool guidance counselor at the bar and he's taken six shots in the last hour. Those teenagers have fucking hardened him.
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
Goddamn right, I may not survive the apocalypse, but my eyebrows fucking will.
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
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