You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
Your last words were "i'm gonna motorboat the bartender." then you commenced with an attempted motorboat
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
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