shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
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Let me clarify that those tears were for losing my fuck buddy and his penis, not to the fact that he decided he wanted an actual relationship with feelings.
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
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I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
I nicked my vulva while shaving and I'm about to go on a date where I will be having sex. Which bandaid: My Little Pony or princesses?
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
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