i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
My roommate has gone Christmas crazy. It looks like Jack Frost came all over my living room. Wanna come fuck me in the fake snow by the fireplace?
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
So yeah, don't be alarmed when you come home after work to find me eating cookie dough out of a margarita glass with a knife and watching The Little Mermaid. It's been one of those days.
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
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