Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
I came home to the cats covered in paint and he was asleep in the tub with a firefighters hat on.
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
Randomize
