used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
i just heard Winston Churchill in auto-tune. thank you nerds.
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
Randomize
