If i come over, it means nothing
i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
The bachelorette party was all fun and games until the strippers came. AKA you guys.
I apologize for chief "dances with dolphins" sucking on your friends foot
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
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