Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
I wish I could have two rating systems on iTunes. "This one is a 5 star. This one is only a 5 star when I'm baked."
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
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