forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
My boss's toddler just went through my bag and found your vibrator...you owe me a drink.
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
Randomize
