i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
He sent me a snapchat of himself growing a double chin. I think we're past the stage where there's any risk of us sleeping together. Ever.
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
Randomize
