I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
You drunk yet?
Nope. Give me two hours then delete my texts before you read them.
Cant make any promises.
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have got to stop assigning last names to girls I get numbers from based on what I think will remind me of them... Sarah Petrydish is not an acceptable memory trigger
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
fucked a girl in the dry storage closet at work. knocked over a whole rack of tomato paste and pinto beans. and also i really hope my manager doesn't review this footage from the security camera
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
Randomize